Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Vladimir, walk this way

Vladimir Putin is the president of Russia. He retains his position by assassinating his opponents.

So, of course, we want to understand why he walks the way he does. Watch a bit of this video, and notice how his right arm doesn't move.


A team of doctors, led by movement disorder specialist Dr. Bastiaan Bloem, decided to look into the matter, publishing their paper on the subject in the British Medical Journal in 2015. In it, they came up with an intriguing and quite probable hypothesis as to why Putin walks this way.
In their paper, titled “Gunslinger’s gait”: a new cause of unilaterally reduced arm swing, They noted that Putin was once a long-time member of the Soviet Union security agency known as the KGB (1975-1991). (In fact, he eventually rose to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel within that organization before leaving it during the brief August Coupattempt against President Mikhail Gorbachev.) 
Showing off their research skills, the doctors dug up the book, KGB Alpha Team training manual, which, if you go read through that manual, contains the following text (Chapter 2) concerning the proper way to move:
…it is absolutely necessary to keep your weapon against the chest or in the right hand. Moving forward should be done with one side, usually the left, turned somewhat in the direction of movement. You should crouch to stay concealed. Lean the body forward slight and keep the knees bent.
While Putin forgoes crouching and the like when walking around in public, his gait otherwise very much mimics the one recommended in the training manual, with presumably his right hand staying mostly stationary at his side holding an imaginary gun or otherwise prepared to draw such a non-existent weapon at need. In other words, perhaps because it was so grilled into him in training, or simply because he thinks it looks cool when he’s walking with that so-called “gunslinger’s gait,” he seems to have chosen to keep the walk long after his KGB days ended.
I'm going to start walking that way just to confuse Vladimir's assassins stalking me. In encourage everyone to do the same. There's nothing new in this.


If you thought that was clever, remember that they stole the idea.


The moral in all of this is that Vladimir isn't as clever as he puts on.

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