Tuesday, August 01, 2017

They're taking the fun out of science fiction

You went to the bathroom again?
I guess this is real: A company in Wisconsin has become the first in the US to roll out microchip implants for all its employees, and says it's expecting over 50 of its staff members to be voluntarily 'chipped' next week.
"We foresee the use of RFID technology to drive everything from making purchases in our office break room market, opening doors, use of copy machines, logging into our office computers, unlocking phones, sharing business cards, storing medical/health information, and used as payment at other RFID terminals," says 32M CEO, Todd Westby. Employees would no longer need to carry around keys, ID cards, or smartphones to operate or authenticate with other systems.
Gosh, Todd.
As if to prove the safety of the technology, the CEO says his wife and children will also receive the implants next week, coinciding with a "chip party" being held at the company's headquarters.
Gosh, Todd.

The company, Three Square Market, sells vending machines, which may explain everything. The company is located in River Falls, Wisconsin, which contains 15,000 people. Pretty soon we'll know where everyone of them is.

The city's first settlers were Joel Foster and his indentured servant, Dick, in the year 1848. On August 9, 1885 Joel died at his home in town after being gored by a dairy bull. Joel might have been spared had he just chipped the bull.

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