Friday, June 02, 2017

This just in ...

CAMPAIGN TO GET MEN INTO SHEDS 
DEEMED ‘POINTLESS’

A new campaign that encourages men to spend more time in their garden shed has come under fire for being ‘a pointless waste of tax payer’s money’. 

However Trish Hanson, the woman behind the campaign, says men are under represented at the bottom of the garden. Hanson said she is particularly keen to see her husband spend less time watching TV, talking through popular shows and spoiling other people’s enjoyment. 

“Men in Britain are ruining other people’s evenings, loudly criticising shows that clearly were not devised with them in mind and annoying people with their comfort eating. It’s time they were empowered. The shed is the perfect place for them to rediscover their masculinity,” said Hanson. 

The Get Men Into Sheds campaign has been underwritten by government funding. It recently unveiled a study, conducted by Dovetail Research, that found that a staggering 100 per cent of men would be happier if they got out the house and stopped ruining other people’s TV programmes. 

“There have been plenty of government funded campaigns to support women in technology, law, the freight industry and every other field of employment and home life,” said Hanson. “I’m simply trying to redress the balance and stick up for the endangered male.” 

However, some critics say that the study was totally pointless, pointing out that garden shed activity is almost totally dominated by the XY chromosomed community. One critic went further. “This bird can’t stand the sight of her husband. Now she’s using government money to force him to sit in the shed,” he said. 

However, Hanson was resolute in her defence of her action on behalf of men. “The reclaim the shed campaign has been a fantastic success which has empowered men all over Britain,” said Hanson, “you can come back in when Housewives of Orange County is over.”

Film at 11.

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