Thursday, April 13, 2017

This just in ...

Study: No Correlation Between 
Being Able To Locate Syria On Map 
And Having Strong Opinion On Syria

According to a new Gallup poll, there is absolutely no correlation between a person’s ability to locate Syria on a map or globe and whether or not that same person has very strong opinions about American intervention in Syria.

“We found that Americans who thought Syria was a type of hair product or asthma medication had opinions just as strong as those who could successfully point out the Middle Eastern country,” a Gallup representative said Wednesday. “There’s absolutely no link between the two.”

The study revealed that one respondent was strongly in favor of President Trump’s recent bombing of a Syrian airfield, although he thought Syria was a suburb of Detroit. Another was entirely opposed to the military intervention while simultaneously believing that Syria was a fictional land created by J.K. Rowling, sources confirmed.

A similar poll studying the relationship between holding strong opinions on a foreign dictator and being able to correctly spell the name of the foreign dictator is reportedly underway.

Film at 11.

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