Friday, March 17, 2017

Troll those little rug rats

To show you how with it I am, I had to look up the definition of trolling. Understanding that is necessary to understanding what follows.

Here's a definition: "make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them." The Urban Dictionary helpfully explains:
Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.
With that under our belt, let's look in on an amazing opportunity for parents to get their jollies.

Krystle Schoonveld (and I'm not even going to comment on that name, writes:
I’ve done the math, and it’s true: around 50 percent of the fun of having kids is trolling them. Whether it’s telling them the ice cream truck only plays music when it’s out of ice cream, or asserting that vegetables will make their eyelashes grow, trolling your kids is endless entertainment.
How do I deal with the constant demand for mom’s attention? I troll them, often mercilessly. Just last week my kids uttered “mom” or “mommy” 114 times in 24 hours. Yes, I actually counted—and I did so out loud, so my daughters were quite aware of how often they beckoned me. The next day, I announced that I would no longer answer to “mom” or “mommy,” but was to be addressed as “Queen of the Schoonveld Household, Mother of Heathens.”
For instance, my children all thought green beans were “green fries” until they were six years old. My youngest still calls them that (she’s 4). They all eat them without complaints to this day. 
All three also still have no idea that banana splits are supposed to include ice cream. Mom wins, because a banana drizzled with a little chocolate syrup is an easy, delicious, and a less sugary dessert. Oh, and frozen yogurt? Yeah, that’s the same thing as ice cream.
I'm gonna try this on Scout The Wonder Dog.

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